The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
