His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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