plz talk dirty to me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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