$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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