come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
