the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
