So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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