I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
