This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
