Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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