I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...