i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed