4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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