just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize