Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.