Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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(203): Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night? http://tfl.nu/k5ad

Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (1667)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school

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(304): they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school http://tfl.nu/joeo

Replies (19) Good night (4170) Bad night (784)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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(732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr

Replies (32) Good night (1448) Bad night (4430)
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(440): View more from Ohio

she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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(440): she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2. http://tfl.nu/9o14

Replies (140) Good night (931) Bad night (5970)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.

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(575): I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte. http://tfl.nu/ceno

Replies (24) Good night (4318) Bad night (896)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.

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(703): I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes. http://tfl.nu/8kb3

Replies (22) Good night (897) Bad night (8764)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(304): She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments http://tfl.nu/75se

Replies (88) Good night (14727) Bad night (3023)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.

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(706): I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable. http://tfl.nu/ug12

Replies (3) Good night (1368) Bad night (820)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.

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(615): Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester. http://tfl.nu/ktfh

Replies (6) Good night (1441) Bad night (607)
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(630): View more from Illinois

We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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(630): We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/kk2v

Replies (6) Good night (1284) Bad night (496)
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(253): View more from Washington

So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter

(1-253): View more from Washington

Wow, he seems so solid

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(253): So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter (1-253): Wow, he seems so solid http://tfl.nu/880c

Replies (7) Good night (1552) Bad night (455)
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(916): View more from California

You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.

(1-916): View more from California

No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.

(916): View more from California

YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN

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(916): You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier. (1-916): No, it's okay because this is the city of trees. (916): YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN http://tfl.nu/hcly

Replies (8) Good night (729) Bad night (414)
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(424): View more from California

Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.

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(424): Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner. http://tfl.nu/wg9u

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (252)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.

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(602): I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit. http://tfl.nu/cxey

Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (289)
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(585): View more from New York

No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.

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(585): No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers. http://tfl.nu/i1qv

Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (316)

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