Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING