I need help removing her.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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