i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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