I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
