There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize