We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
