Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize