I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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