I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
