i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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