i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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