I'm really into asian looking animals
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
