I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
