Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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