Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
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this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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