dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
