oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
