i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
