This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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