She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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