Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish i was in the wii world.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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