I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize