Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
