Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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