you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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