You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
