I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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