U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
