My first STD was from a foam party
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
