Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize