if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
