my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Come see our sink grown plant.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
