im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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