I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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