At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
