Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
