So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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