Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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