so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize