The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
