how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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