my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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