I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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