i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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