rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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