I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
