tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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