I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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