Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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