between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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