Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its not stalking. its research.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
