just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
