yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
