So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize